The Birthday Paradox of Home

"Home" is not a word we get to use lightly. It is not only a physical place on this green Earth, but also somewhere that feels warm, familiar, and instinctively yours.

2026 marks my sixth year calling Vietnam home, and I'm not using that word lightly here either. The lady at my regular phở place already knows I always order tái chín. At the café afterwards, it'll almost certainly be a bạc xỉu, and I do not need to check which tables creak because I already know which ones do. I probably could make my way to 3 different cool bridges and quiet spots in this otherwise chaotic city when I need to take a relatively fresh breath of air and it would be empty, even when it is not Tết.

Long before I could claim I'd lived here for years, I'd already run into the Birthday paradox, but with Vietnamese names.

These days, I can go weeks making new friends, sharing meals and laughter, and almost guarantee I already know someone else with their name. Sometimes, it's even the exact same given and family name.

I go on a hike, meet someone named "Thuy", and I can immediately remember three other friends I have with the same name.

I read about yet another business Vuong Pham is in, and I can't help but draw a smirk on my face because neither my friend Vuong nor Pham would ever be interested in a steel business.

I wanted to send that Google Maps link to "Thu", but both "Thu"-s I know have no profile pictures on their Facebook account, so I'm cooked.

I, Toan, and Tuan, walked away from pub quiz night having donated 50,000₫ to Blue Dragon because none of us knew enough obscure trivia about '80s Christmas movies. But we still knew we could head to the café where our friend Tuan was working late and wash away our salty defeat with a few Trúc Bạchs.

So here is to all anh Anhs, em Mais, chi Linhs and dozens of Nguyễns, Vu-s, Phams, and the countless people whose names now blur together in my contact list: thank you for all the warmth and familiarity you've brought into my life. My ambiguous contact list is such a small price to pay for this warmth.

After all, that's what home looks like.